NO I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ACTUALLY BUT THANKS FOR ASKING BITCH
recently, I’ve been tagging “stupid Joey” in some of my posts and the sad reality is that he’s not stupid at all. he’s wonderful and the closest thing to perfection that I’ll ever have the privilege to call mine. I miss him, but he doesn’t want me. I’ll wait, though. because we bought tie dye socks together and he wore my sunglasses whenever the sun was in his eyes while driving. it may have only been a two week adventure, but during that time, he made the largest impression on me and I’ll never forget him. I can only hope that he won’t forget about me.
The Signs Respond to: “We Should Break Up”
Aries: Great! I’m so much better off without you
Taurus: Good luck handling everything by yourself
Gemini: Okay bye
Cancer: Wow why? you definitely are not what I thought you were
Leo: Haha, you’ll regret this so much
Virgo: Do you have any good reasons or are you just plain stupid?
ugh. the aquarius struggle is real. we’re too kind.
My kind of comedy
Funny story about Bill Nye: so a friend of mine back in Ottawa was at the Science and Tech Museum, and she didn’t know it, but apparently Bill Nye was guest appearing there that day. So she is waiting for the elevator and this guy walks up beside her to wait for it, too. She turns and looks at him and immediately recognizes him. Completely forgetting that she’s a grown adult, she points at him and exclaims, “BILL NYE!” He glances at her and gives her this really fucking weird look, and she thinks, Oh fuck, I completely just embarrassed myself in front of Bill Nye and now he probably thinks I’m some creepy stalker or something. So the elevator doors open and he walks in, and she’s just too stunned and mortified to get in behind him; she just stands there, staring. He’s in the elevator, alone, with his back to her.
Just as the doors are closing, he whips around, points at her, and shouts, “SCIENCE!” and then the doors close.
I want Bill Nye to yell “SCIENCE!” at me 😩
These Fabulous Swimsuits Are Designed Specifically for Breast Cancer Survivors
This is amazing.
My nipples. My business.
reblogging bc “my nipples. my business”
Dean is a classy lady. If you want any more than that you’ve gotta buy him dinner.