Albert, king of the jungle
Screaming @ these Milani Constellation Gel Eyeliners. Oh my god!!!! I don’t think they are at all useful as eyeliner but they’d be fine as pretty cream shadow.
When in doubt, eat her out
Not the time for a dad joke.
the time is nigh
“DONT BOTHER COMING HOME”
“GONNA SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE.”
"I ACCIDENTALLY HAD SEX WITH IT."
"NOW WE’RE IN LOVE"
I will never not love dog texts.
"I’M DOING THE TWILIGHT BARK"
"woah. someone soaked the living room."
"I don’t need flowers to remind me of the fact that you love me not."